According to the internet, a pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it. We all have them. And most of the time, they are more disruptive to daily life than an actual living, breathing pet would be.
I know that I’m not the easiest person to get along with. Idiosyncrasies, nuances, quirks, call them what you will, but my personality traits make me a difficult person, at best. Most people either love me or hate me. There isn’t much of a gray area in between. And my pet peeves do nothing to help the situation.
Most of my family and friends have grown accustomed to my odd preferences and behaviors, but to the outside observer I must seem insane. But as John Lennon once said, “I’m not the only one.” hahaha.
Here is a Top 10 Tuesday list of my biggest pet peeves. Feel free to share yours (we all have them…it’s time to take ownership).
- Condensation. I abhor condensation. I am a firm believer in coasters. And if you’ve ever dined with me in public you will notice that I always create a “coaster” from a napkin, which I will periodically use to wipe the outside of my glass or bottle, so as not to get my finger tips wet when I take a drink.
- Chewing ice. Please do not chew ice near me. It sends chills down my spine, and not in a Danny Zuko kind of way.
- Turn the roll the right way. Toilet paper unwind from over the top, not pull down from the under side. This also applies to paper towels.
- Bottom of the glass. I do not drink anything once it has reached dreg status in my eyes. Save for shot glasses, no drink set before me will ever be finished to the very bottom. That tiny amount of liquid is never the right temperature and runs the risk of containing backwash. And since I refuse to “waterfall” everything I drink, as my daughter suggested, nothing will ever be good to the last drop.
- Make the bed. I cannot sleep in a bed that has sloppy sheets. I have been known to wake people up and make them get out of the bed long enough for me to ‘fix’ the sheets so that I may rest easily. A fitted sheet should be just that: fitted. A top sheet should be smoothed out and tucked in with hospital corners. The blankets should be evenly placed and distributed. No lie, I will not sleep properly if a bed is all screwy. Even if I sleep on the sofa, the throw blanket should be placed just so.
- Toothpaste. For the love of all things holy, squeeze the tube from the bottom.
- Movie theatre etiquette. I’m considering teaching a class on this subject. If you do not know how to conduct yourself at the cinema, then do me a favor and stay at home. You are what Netflix was designed for. If I wanted a running commentary I’d wait for the DVD. This isn’t Mystery Science Theatre 3000, nor is it the Rocky Horror Show. I don’t want to hear you sing, or echo the last line of dialogue that you heard. Don’t hypothesize with your neighbor, your theories should stay in your own head. Pee before the movie starts and if you know for certain you cannot sit still for 2.5 hours, choose an aisle seat. I don’t need your ass in my face or your foot in my popcorn. Turn off your phone. At no point should I see a cell phone. I don’t care if it’s on silent or vibrate or the light is dim. Turn it off. You’re not that important. It can wait. And just because it’s the Dollar Theatre does not entitle you to break the rules, take children to 10pm movies and let them run wild, or force me to smell the Taco Bell you smuggled in your purse. It’s ghetto, but it’s still a movie theatre. Show some respect. Seriously, this topic might be an entire blog unto its self.
- Turn signals. It’s not just a convenient stick from which to hang an air freshener. Use them.
- Bring your pets in. I should not hear your dog barking at 3am. Period. Your pet is an extension of your family. Quit leaving it chained up (or fenced in) over night. This is especially true during times of inclement weather, or excessive temperature fluctuations. If you do not want pets in your home, then do not have pets. Period. Or, move to a farm and get yourself some grazing animals.
- Kk. This annoys the life out of me. If you are going to take the time to text me, and moreover expend the effort to type in two whole letters, make them be OK. Kk means NOTHING. If you Kk me, or even k me, I will not reply to you.
Narrowing my list to ten things was more difficult than I anticipated. I never realized just how many things annoy me. I’m pretty sure this says more about me than about the rest of the world. But I’d like to think I’m justified in believing that I am right and everything else is wrong. I’m kind of a jerk in that regard. So, aside from the obvious–ME–what annoys you most?